Working with Resistant Patternspar Kay M. Heaton, ACC
As coaches we work with resistance every day. When I ask clients about resistance they generally answer the question about direct or physical forms like refusals and conflicts.
I frequently observe teams and individuals in my leadership practice who demonstrate resistance in in-direct forms such as procrastination or avoidance has a negative impact on team or individual performance.
Next I ask my client where they see resistance in their teams. They often talk about resistance to change and change management. Then I ask them about what they are resistant to. This is where it starts to get interesting. I am checking for awareness of their team and their own resistance and their awareness when resistance is present and in what forms.
Below is a tool I use with all my clients in team and individual coaching. Then it is up to the client(s) to decide to work on the underlying behaviors. Here is the exercise. Ask the client to circle the types of resistant that most upsets them. Next ask them to put a tick beside their own resistant patterns. Of all the strategies I use this has created the most aha moments. Then it is up to the client(s) to decide to work on the underlying behaviors. As a bonus, do the exercise yourself as a Coach and see how your own patterns impact your coaching.
How to be aware of Resistance
It is important to be alert to the signs that someone is experiencing a problem or an upset in response to the ability to control a situation. This upset is triggered by a previous memory pattern similar to the current emotional, mental or physical challenge or an Amygdala Highjack. Responses can include the following:
Now that you have done the exercises, think about your clients and where resistance is impacting their ability to achieve their coaching goals. How will you use your new awareness of your own resistant patterns to help your clients? and perhaps even achieve your own…
