Identifying and Coaching the Fear of Failurepar Stephane Gaskin, ACC
Fear of failure is a common hurdle that has to be cleared by coaching clients so that they could continue on their journey to achieving their goals, happiness and well-being. The goal of this article is to help you identify two types of fear of failure in your clients, wich will add to your existing abilities to coach them. Being aware of these subtypes of fear of failure will also contribute to your ability to see the world from you client’s perspective.
1) Overstrivers
Overstrivers deal with fear of failure by doing everything they can to not fail. They do not see failures as undesired outcomes from which they can learn and grow from, but situations to avoid at all costs. When overstrivers don’t succeed they see their failures as a lack of ability and incompetence. Therefore, they often set goals based on avoidance (moving away from something bad) rather than on moving towards something good (success orientation). This is often apparent in the way they formulate goals negatively, which results in high stress and anxiety.
Example:
Avoidance: “My goal is to not be the last person to submit my report”
Success orientation: “My goal is to complete my report on time and to be one of the first to submit it”.
2) Self-Protectors
Self-protectors deal with fear of failure, not by avoiding failure per-se, like the overstrivers, but by avoiding the consequences of failure. Self-protectors protect their self-worth by minimizing the extent to which an eventual failure could reflect a lack of ability. Below are two methods they use to do this, self-handicapping and defensive pessimism.
3) Self-Handicappers
Self-handicappers set up obstacles for themselves so that they can have a ready-made excuse for not succeeding. In this way, they can deflect the attention from a possible lack of ability or competence onto an excuse instead. They can do so by purposely not giving their best effort towards the completion of a task, not practicing or by procrastinating.
Examples:
a) Not giving the best effort
Excuse: “I wasn’t really trying”
b) Not practicing
Excuse: “I didn’t have time to practice”
c) Procrastination
Excuse: “I did it at the last minute”.
4) Defensive pessimists
Defensive pessimists set unrealistically low expectations for themselves. They set goals for which standards for performance are low so that their chances of succeeding are high, which will permit them to preserve their self-esteem. However, defensive pessimists have to live with the thought of how well they could have done if they had set more challenging goals.
Example: A student setting the goal of just getting a passing grade, even in the possession of much greater ability.
Coaching the Fear of Failure
Coaching the fear of failure should include getting your client to switch from having an “avoidance” motivation to being oriented towards success. I propose four factors that you need to convey to your clients so that they can be empowered to be able to do this.
Interest in the process
Why?
When interested in the process, clients let themselves learn along the way.
How?
By being receptive to feedback so that when they experience setbacks, they can learn from them and adjust their behavior so that they keep moving forward.
Self-belief
Why?
The confidence that you can succeed if you try comes from believing in yourself.
How?
Clients build confidence by completing small tasks that requires them to leave their zone of comfort a little bit at the time. Champion your clients by celebrating their small successes so that they can gradually take up greater challenges.
Valuing of goals
Why?
There is a higher probability that a goal will be achieved if clients get connected with its importance.
How?
Clients have to get connected to what their goal means to them. The client should be asked the following powerful questions: “What does it say about you that you have this goal?” “What will it say about you once you have achieved that goal?” “What will it do for you and/or for others?”
Control
Why?
The extent to which clients perceive they are in control of their own destiny is directly related to their ability to achieve their goals.
How?
Success orientation includes that clients feel that they are in control of their fears. They need to:
1) Recognize their fear of failure when it begins to appear.
2) Think about why they have those fears.
3) Refocus on the task at hand and on the steps that need to be taken to move forward.
Summary
To recap, overstrivers are motivated by avoiding failure rather than by forward movement towards success. Self-protectors make up reasons in advance to explain failure in case it occurs, so that the focus will be on excuses rather than on a lack of ability. This is known as the self-handicapping method. Self protectors may also use what is known as defensive pessimism, in which only easy goals are set as to reduce the probability of failing. These are not the only ways people deal with their fear of failure, which do not lead to personal growth and well being, but they are big ones.
Further reading
Martin, A.J., Marsh, H.W., Williamson, A., & Debus, R.L. (2003). Self-handicapping, defensive pessimism, and goal orientation: A qualitative study of university students. Journal of Educational Psychology, 95, 617-628.